My Private Part Died Today
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied,
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas!"
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing".
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered , "I'M LONELY TOO, BUY ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY."
The old lady figured WHAT THE HECK, she hadn't found anything else.
She bought the frog and put him in the car.
Driving down the road the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY."
So the old lady figured WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous sexy young handsome prince.
THE PRINCE THEN KISSED THE OLD LADY BACK..........AND GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?
COME ON GUESS....
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH COME ON......
SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST MOTEL SHE COULD FIND.