(Кавказец @ Aug 19 2006, 05:57 AM) Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in awhile he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
Dave...
Dave...
Dave...
You're a Veterinarian, you sick bastard".
While talking of animal abuse, here is something in the vein. Well describing the Welsh (and here I am violating the newly re-established accord to avoid harsh descriptions of nationalities):
Two Welsh villagers meet one fine evening:
- Have you heard that the old Jones has been caught in the field having sex with a sheep?
The other: Gooodness gracious!! With a female sheep or with a male one?
-(indignantly) With a female one, of course! There is nothing wrong with the old Jones!!

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!!
(True Story)

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo -

"Defrost the chicken."